Saturday, April 19, 2014

BROWN: Too cranky to wake up cheerful

By LINDA BROWN, Hold Me up a Little Longer, Lord | 11/6/2013

Some people should come with a warning label. Take “a morning person” — please — for example.

These folks come with the irritating habit of getting up way before dawn so they can have the “invigorating experience of seeing the sun rise in the middle of winter.” They are amazingly wide-eyed and bushy-tailed and take euphoric satisfaction in the simple act of waking up.

Some people should come with a warning label. Take “a morning person” — please — for example.

These folks come with the irritating habit of getting up way before dawn so they can have the “invigorating experience of seeing the sun rise in the middle of winter.” They are amazingly wide-eyed and bushy-tailed and take euphoric satisfaction in the simple act of waking up.

Morning people should never be given coffee or any other type of stimulant that might exaggerate the cheerfulness and annoying desire to take a brisk walk around the block. If you ever encounter one of these people and develop a desire to slap them silly, discontinue contact at once.

I can fake my way through appearing to be a morning person, but only for one morning at a time and usually not more than four or five mornings a year. Of course, there also was a time in my life when a pot of coffee was all the nourishment I needed to get through the day. Then I started aging and not sleeping like a rock any longer. In fact, I oftentimes wake up in the wee hours and can’t go back to sleep — which might mean I will eventually turn into a morning person.

Now there’s a scary thought. Somehow I can’t imagine saying “Oh, I love going to the gym early in the morning — there’s never anyone there.”

Nope. I think while those cheerful morning people have showered, eaten a light breakfast, read the good book cover to cover and announced they are ready to seize the day, I’ll still be groping the counter waiting for my tea to brew and my joints to start working.

Maybe I’m just a little jealous; after all, morning people have the enviable quality of waking up and hitting the ground running with a grin ear to ear and never a yawn. Meanwhile, the rest of us are assumed to be old cranky-pants simply because we can never get too much face time with our pillows.

Linda Brown is marketing director for The Ottawa Herald. Email her at lbrown@ottawaherald.com

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